Coxswains

[00:00:06] Speaker A: The term coxswain originated in at least the 14th century. It's a combination of words cock for ship's boat, which evolved from the Old French coq, meaning canoe, and swain boy, from Old Norse Sven, meaning boy servant. Therefore, it meant the first swain, servant, boy in charge of a small cockboat that was used to row the captain to and from the ship. These days, in rowing, the coxswain remains the person in charge of the boat and crew. Often shortened to cox, they are responsible for safety, steering, strategy and motivation, both on and off the water. Coxswains usually come in small packages with fierce personalities. You'll often see large heavyweight men's crews averaging over 6 foot 5 and 220 pounds being bossed around by a tiny cox, a foot and a half shorter than them and 100 pounds lighter. It's quite a sight to see. What coxswains lack in size, they typically make up for in leadership, personality and intelligence. While they do not hold an oar, their role is critical to the success or failure of the crew on the water. As the only person in the shell who can see ahead of the crew and see the crew itself, a coxswain's first and most important responsibility is safety, both on and off the water. Steering the shell not only in the shortest line possible to the finish, but but also around barriers and dangers in their path. Coxing is an art form. A racing shell is not a race car. Turns are sluggish and delayed. The shell doesn't start or stop as you expect it to. The engine is a group of humans that don't always do what you expect, and the environment around you is unpredictable. A cox must lead the crew in spite of all this uncertainty through their race strategy. Calling moves, paces, stroke rates to ensure the crew performs at their highest level. To do this, a cox has to have earned the complete and utter trust of the crew, so that they follow without hesitation. A cox has to know when to push and when to back off, when to give energy, what tone will motivate their crew and what will cause the crew to shut down and give up. Coxswains may not have an oar in the water, but they are as much a part of the machine as the rest of the crew, having the ability to cause a win or loss as much as any other seat in the shell. Once again, in rowing, like in life, sometimes you're the rower and sometimes you're the cox. There are times, circumstances, when life calls on you to simply execute the plan, like a rower, to give everything you have to achieve Excellence. Battle your own mind or body, or both, to do the task you were given with perfect technique, trusting that the one in charge will keep you safe. Other times, life calls on you to lead, to keep others safe, to earn their trust and respect and keep it. To push when they need pushing, to make decisions, to adjust the plan on the fly to external forces standing in your way. To see the path that's hidden from them and guide them down it while it remains obscured. Either way, when both of these roles are executed together to perfection is when magic happens. A deep bond. The built in trust, dedication, commitment and selflessness will drive a team beyond the sum of its parts to achieve what's unimaginable alone. [00:03:14] Speaker B: Welcome back. I'm Alicia Cushman and this is the Gather. We are gathered together again after work. I was thinking about our topic today, which is coxswains, and one thing kept popping up for me when I'm thinking about any specific role in the boat. And it's really the concept of the bonds that tie the team together. So I think that's something incredibly special and unique to rowing. I distinctly remember the first time I realized that team dynamic. I'm curious, do you guys remember that first time when you noticed that uniqueness of the bonds that are formed on a rowing team? [00:03:47] Speaker C: I don't know that I remember the exact time, but, you know, I had my daughter for the last five years was rowing on the Wakefield crew team and she was stroke seat. So the stroke seed is the seed that sits right in front of me, the coxswain. And in that unique relationship, I mean, they are working together the entire time to move that boat down the river, down the reservoir, whatever it is. And so I don't know that there was one time, but I always heard the stories about the coxswains, so. And you know, not everybody in that boat has that same relationship with the coxswain that the stroke seat does. So it became very clear to me that the two of them had to work very closely together to ensure that the rest of the boat was following not only the coxswain, but the stroke was following the coxswain and then the. [00:04:40] Speaker A: Rest of the boat was following that stroke seat. [00:04:42] Speaker C: And it's, it's a dynamic that I think is, is unique there. Obviously the others are following the coxswain as well, but that when they're looking at each other in the eyes going down the river, that creates a different bond, you know, that I think was pretty obvious to me. [00:04:58] Speaker B: Yes, the stroke seat is the voice of the rowers to the cocks. So there's certain things the cox can't feel in the boat. And the stroke will verbalize that to the cox so they can make the call, adjust the strategy, etc. So the stroke seat is like a voice of the rowers directly to the coxswain. Yeah, it is a special relationship. What about you guys? [00:05:16] Speaker D: I mean, I don't know if I have a specific moment. Well, I guess the. Only the moment, but it's not on the water. [00:05:22] Speaker B: That's okay. [00:05:22] Speaker D: So they all come over. So for, like, carb loading up the night before, the boat shows up at the house and we've cooked, you know, pounds of spaghetti. I mean, these boys ate, like. I don't know, each. Each ate a pound of spaghetti, I think. But then you always had. So the cox was, in our case, was a female and very small and petite and just kind of walks in among these, like, towering boys that are around her. And she. But whatever was going to happen that night, she dictated. It was like, so, guys, get in line. [00:05:59] Speaker E: We're gonna eat dinner. [00:06:01] Speaker D: And she would just kind of command what happened. It was so funny to watch basically this voice that was emerging out of these. These hulking trees around her to basically get them in line. And they all listened, which was a pretty good trick. [00:06:18] Speaker E: Yeah. One of the things I've always said about rowing that I think is super cool is that, especially in high school rowing, but all sports. How many sports are there where boys and girls get to just naturally work together in the same sport for the same purpose? That doesn't happen. They're always segregated. And I feel like, you know, high school is a great training ground for boys and girls to learn how to be men and women, to work together, to have relationships with each other in adulthood. And that happens, you know, in high school hallways. But I feel like rowing gives boys and girls such a chance to literally work together for the same purpose, sometimes even in the same boat. I think one of the memories I have that makes me laugh is that a few years into my service on the Wakefield crew board, we were planning a party, and I think somehow there was going to be, like, a girls event and a boys event. And I can't remember the details, but I had seen the name of a girl coxswain and put her in the list of girls for the girls event that we were planning. And the outrage. She was like, I do not belong on the girls team. She's like, I am on the boys team. And that was like. And that was a real learning opportunity. For me, like, oh, this is a big deal. Like, she is a coxswain for a boys boat and I better respect that. So I remember that being a really neat learning opportunity, but how empowering for a girl to be in a position to tell a bunch of high school boys and then translate that up, you know, for masters or college or whatever, like. But to tell a bunch of high school boys what to do and for them to learn to respect that girl and listen to what she has to say, it's just incredible training ground, I think, for life in terms of learning, mutual respect with each other. [00:07:58] Speaker B: Yeah, absolutely. Mine also off the water. I was very early on in my rowing career. I don't think Derek had ever even raced yet. And we were standing at the high school. He had, of course, forgotten something. And I was bringing it to school in the morning. I think he forgot his lunch or something. So I'm standing there and he's like, I'm pulling up in a second and I turn around and they're all walking up together, right? And I was like, that is the most bizarre thing I've ever seen in my life. Because it was the coxswain and four of the rowers, and they were the stern four. So basically the four that are closest to the coxswain, and the coxswain's kind of off to the side, but the four rowers, also funny, a female coxswain, four giant rowers. One of those rowers was Mac, who is 65 and giant in high school. And so the coxswain, her name was Sarah. At the time, she was probably about 5, 2, and he was 6 5, right? And so you, like, that's the dynamic. [00:08:52] Speaker A: That you're talking about. [00:08:53] Speaker B: But the four rowers were literally walking in step with each other. They were moving, like, in. It was like watching this amorphous blob of four high school boys together with this cock sort of swimming circling around them. And I was like, what in the world have I signed up for? [00:09:09] Speaker A: A cult? [00:09:09] Speaker B: What is happening? You know? But I think that's what's the beauty of that bond between the rowers and the cocks is something that you do not get in any other sport because of the absolute synchronicity that they have to have in the boat. They have to have their. They're basically breathing in sync. Every. Every millimeter that they move their body has to be an absolute sync with each other. And you just can't be an individual in the boat, because if you're an individual in the boat, you're slowing it down. So I think that that bond just sort of naturally happens in the sport of rowing. And the coxswain is the one that's sort of the puppet master of it all. [00:09:45] Speaker D: You know, I mean, one of the craziest experiences, one of my most memorable one, I was with. So Jess's husband's a referee, and so I got to drive the. The ref boat. And our last regatta on the Occoquan, I'm driving him in the boat and we're cruising right behind our girls 8. And the way he likes to be, we're kind of right on. So I got to listen, you know, because I could hear the thing coming back. And so there all the. The rowers are facing me because they're facing the opposite direction they're going, and the cox is going the other way. But I could hear her microphone and just kind of what she was saying to them and the kind of relentless, you know, encouragement that's happening. But the, but the calling of the shots, like, now we're going to go to a power whatever, and now we're going to move to this. And so a piece of advice. If you have kids that are rowing, ask them to have some moment where they record the cox during a race. And I know that it's possible. I think the cox boxes let you do that. [00:10:45] Speaker E: Oh, yeah. [00:10:45] Speaker D: But if you can get a copy of the recording, it is fascinating to hear what the cox is saying the whole way down and you realize just how essential they are and what. What they're doing to put that boat together and keeping them abreast of what's happening around them, because they're the only ones that actually can see what's happening in the race. [00:11:05] Speaker B: Yeah, I think we have a clip that we'll play that we can share. But also parents be fair warned, and rowers don't cringe. Some of these coxes can be explicit. So if you have sensitive ears, move long, let it go. [00:11:22] Speaker C: Because a cox will need to know what will motivate each rower. [00:11:26] Speaker B: Absolutely. [00:11:26] Speaker C: So, you know, they may use not so nice language, but they need to know what motivates every single one of. [00:11:34] Speaker A: Those rowers in that boat. [00:11:36] Speaker C: And it might not be the same. So they've got to go through as they're training and the challenge, like, what is it that will work? You know, what do these rowers need to push them forward? And that's the unique bond between not just the coxswain and the boat, but the coxswain and each individual rower in that boat. [00:11:52] Speaker B: And the pairing of the coxswain with the crew, too. Yeah, it was funny, the coxswain that I was talking about Derek's early years. She coxed in their junior year, state championship year. And what she told them was, if. [00:12:04] Speaker A: You guys win this for me, I. [00:12:06] Speaker B: Will let you shave my head at the senior party. [00:12:08] Speaker E: Oh, yeah. [00:12:09] Speaker B: And sure enough, they did. They sat there, they put her in a chair on the dock, and they shaved that girl's head. And they loved it. Loved it. So the promise of the shaved head got them across the finish line in first. [00:12:22] Speaker A: Well, what an amazing bond. [00:12:23] Speaker C: What an amazing bond. [00:12:24] Speaker B: Right? [00:12:24] Speaker E: Who. [00:12:25] Speaker C: Who really would do that, you know, unless there's that bond of, you know, trust and confidence and success. [00:12:35] Speaker B: Go your front end tank. Quicker than the wind. Let's breathe. [00:12:40] Speaker A: Yes. [00:12:41] Speaker E: I gotta have to see. [00:12:43] Speaker A: Six. [00:12:44] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, I'm moving. Princeton sitting a little on ground. [00:12:47] Speaker A: Eight. [00:12:47] Speaker B: There we go. Nine. Ready to settle. [00:12:51] Speaker A: Breathe. [00:12:52] Speaker E: That's a little taste of Sarah Herrick Coxing a UVA women's varsity boat at the Eastern Sprints Regatta in 1999. Now back to our conversation. [00:13:02] Speaker B: Have you guys ever had somebody like that in your life where it's like, wow, this person is really going to drive me beyond. I have this implicit trust for this person. So who's like your personal coxswain that you have this implicit trust in that will push you through your hardest time? Do you have one? [00:13:17] Speaker E: I don't have a single person. But what this conversation reminds me of, and which we mentioned in our first episode, is that the four of us were on a board together. We were all on the board of Wakefield Crew, and it's a very intense sport, and we had to work so closely together in some very intense circumstances sometimes. And I had so much trust. I say I, because I was president of the Booster Club and had to trust the whole board, and we all had to trust each other. And so that feels a little bit like a coxswain rower relationship to me, but maybe one where we took turns being in the coxswain, depending on what the situation was. And I did feel that we were very successful as a board in terms of fundraising and morale and success with the team and moving our team forward in so many ways, sometimes against the. [00:14:07] Speaker D: Odds and financial accuracy. [00:14:09] Speaker E: Well, they didn't have it, Mr. Treasurer. [00:14:11] Speaker B: And our event, that was critical. [00:14:13] Speaker C: Exactly. [00:14:15] Speaker E: That's because we worked hard to develop rapport. And we had a positive attitude and a whole. A very can do attitude, which I think is not dissimilar to that competitive attitude that we're in this together, we're going to win this race. Like, we. We were never defeatist about it, even though sometimes we did have to struggle. So that is one instance that it makes me think of that is partly why we did so well. [00:14:40] Speaker D: I can think of many times when each of you were my coxswain. [00:14:43] Speaker B: Well, I was just gonna say the reason we did so well is. Guess who our coxswain was? Him. [00:14:47] Speaker D: Absolutely. [00:14:48] Speaker B: Kim was our coxswain. Pushing us beyond every. I mean, we did so much because of you, honestly, being the coxswain of that team. Honestly, genuinely, you were our coxswain. [00:14:57] Speaker E: Well, it's very sweet. In a good position for me, because otherwise I'd be catching crabs. [00:15:03] Speaker B: All of our high school rowers just cringe. So that's the goal, I think, mine. I have been really fortunate to find a best friend late in life who is my exact opposite. So as I was talking earlier, I was talking in another episode about, you know, my sort of head races about trust and building barriers. He's sort of the exact opposite. And so I think that makes me push beyond my comfort zone, and it's a really good sort of counterbalance. And I feel like that's let me really be much stronger and better than. [00:15:37] Speaker A: I ever could have been alone. [00:15:38] Speaker B: So I see him as my personal coxin. And I'm really blessed to have found a best friend who can give me that. [00:15:45] Speaker E: That's lucky. [00:15:46] Speaker A: Yeah. What about you? [00:15:48] Speaker D: I mean, I'm gonna be cheesy and say it's my wife, but I love that. [00:15:54] Speaker B: Yes, because you have the best wife. [00:15:58] Speaker D: I do. Y' all are great. But. [00:16:04] Speaker B: So why. Why do you say Kathy is your. [00:16:06] Speaker D: Oh, I don't know. I mean, you just need someone that. I mean, you know, those moments when you're just raw, emotional, can't. And the degree of trust you have to have for both being that vulnerable. But to have someone that. That. That knows what. What to say or how to help and knows they can't fix it, but can certainly, you know, be there. So, I mean, I think we've all had some, you know, you go through rough moments, and I'm just lucky enough to have found a person a long time ago that is that person for me. [00:16:42] Speaker A: I love coming to cry. [00:16:44] Speaker C: And, you know, you mentioned the word vulnerable, and I bring that back to high schoolers because, you know, it's tough to be vulnerable. [00:16:52] Speaker A: It's tough. [00:16:53] Speaker C: I mean, I admit I'm not good at being vulnerable. And I can say I probably don't have that one person or even that group of people that I constantly would view as my coxswains in life. Because it takes vulnerability, to trust in somebody else, to direct you in life or to, you know, to trust that they have your best interest. And so just think about that on a high school level and what that teaches young people, young adults, as a life lesson to be able to trust in somebody else at that level, especially if you're really into the sport and want to win, you do. You have to be vulnerable to that person, that they're going to guide you in the right direction towards that win, whatever that is. It's a great life lesson. [00:17:36] Speaker B: It doesn't just teach high schoolers, it teach all. [00:17:37] Speaker C: Teaches all of us. But I'm just saying, you know, if you bring it back to the high school level, it's such an. We, you know, we started talking in our first episode about how crew can really teach young people, you know, life things. And it does. It brings it all the way to us, too. But, you know, you think about that. [00:17:54] Speaker A: What. [00:17:54] Speaker C: What other sport really does that. [00:17:56] Speaker E: I was just gonna say, too, going back to vulnerability, too, about how, you know, the sport of rowing requires you to have confidence in yourself, but also kind of, like, subvert your own ego because you do have to row in complete synchronicity with your teammates. And so that vulnerability to trust that, like, I don't have to stand out and be the superstar, I can just know my place and do my own personal job, you know, I think that teaches a lot, too. It's really cool. [00:18:22] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:18:23] Speaker D: Well, that vulnerability creates a certain opportunities for people to let you down and to learn forgiveness and resilience through that as well. And so how do you. How do you work through when the people you've trust maybe, you know, just messed up. Right. You know, it's not. But, you know, you think of that trust in the coxswain, it's the only one that can actually see the direction the boat's going in. And you don't know that boat may be heading for a pylon in the middle of the. In the. In a bridge. [00:18:55] Speaker B: And sometimes they do, and sometimes. And you gotta get back in the. And you gotta get back in the boat. But that's such an important. That's such an important point, Ed. You're so right. Because that trust is built over time. And it's not about perfection. It's about trusting that you can get through it together. [00:19:08] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:19:08] Speaker B: And that you're gonna come back and put your. That person's gonna put their best effort in. [00:19:12] Speaker E: And so if you win, you all won. [00:19:14] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:19:15] Speaker E: And if they're. If you didn't win, it's. No, it's not just one person's fault. You know, no one can say, oh, you missed the catch or you missed the field goal. So I love that it's a collective thing always. [00:19:27] Speaker B: So I think with that we should transition to trivia. So we're going to transition to our trivia. So our trivia question tonight is one. [00:19:35] Speaker A: Of popular culture and coxswain. [00:19:39] Speaker D: Popular culture and coxswain. [00:19:41] Speaker B: Okay, so what famous actress recently took a break from acting to study creative writing and found coxing in the summer? [00:19:53] Speaker D: Recently? [00:19:54] Speaker B: Recently. [00:19:54] Speaker D: Emma Watson. [00:19:56] Speaker A: Yes. [00:19:56] Speaker D: Is that right? [00:19:57] Speaker E: Yes. [00:20:05] Speaker B: I cannot believe you knew that that fast. [00:20:08] Speaker D: I don't even know why I thought that. Because she went to a smart school, didn't she? [00:20:14] Speaker B: That's why she did. That's the bonus. What are the. What's the bonus? Where, where. Who did she wrote for as a coxswain? [00:20:20] Speaker E: Oxford. [00:20:21] Speaker D: No, it was somewhere in the US she went to like Yale or Harvard or. But that's probably not where she. I don't know. [00:20:28] Speaker B: Final answer. [00:20:29] Speaker E: Hogwarts. Princeton. [00:20:32] Speaker D: Oh, Princeton. I think it. I'm gonna say I'm guessing Yale, but. [00:20:38] Speaker B: Princeton, Princeton, Yale, Brown. [00:20:41] Speaker E: No guess. I don't know. [00:20:43] Speaker A: You should have stuck with your first. [00:20:44] Speaker B: Guess, cuz it was Oxford. [00:20:49] Speaker D: I steered us so wrong. [00:20:52] Speaker E: Fantastic. [00:20:53] Speaker B: So fun fact. She actually rode in a race and lost. And the competing team played the Hogwarts theme song and she like took it in stride. [00:21:02] Speaker E: Oh, man. [00:21:03] Speaker D: And now for a special, we have Emma Watson joining us. [00:21:07] Speaker A: Right. [00:21:12] Speaker C: This was great. [00:21:14] Speaker D: Always fun to gather. [00:21:15] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:21:15] Speaker B: So don't hit pause. [00:21:18] Speaker D: Yep. [00:21:18] Speaker A: Roll to the next episode. [00:21:19] Speaker C: I like it. [00:21:20] Speaker D: You're coming up with the catchphrase. [00:21:21] Speaker E: I love it. [00:21:22] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:21:22] Speaker D: All right, that's good. [00:21:23] Speaker E: See you soon. [00:21:24] Speaker D: See you soon.